never in the past 2 years have i felt i was good at something, anything. not even studying. before i feel anymore insignificant hopeless and useless, somebody please get me back on track or else i'll destroy my own future. im starting to lose every ounce of faith i had.

today's my parents twentieth anniversary. so sweet right. they had been teasing each other the entire night about their 30 years of knowing each other and how its wasted etc etc, and once again it just scared me about how freaking long that is, how freaking scary & difficult that commitment is, and how i most probably will just stay single my whole life.

its 1 and im not sleeping yet. there's rj vj hockey game tml and rest is essential.. but i wouldnt be playing anyway. ha ha.